Thoughts are information and signals about what’s going for us.
When you have a confusing thought, pause and look at it from a distance.
Ask what is it telling you, what message is it bringing to you?
Sit in the dark with the thought and let it light up the backstory.
Thoughts are luminous, they light up what’s important for us at the time.
This is one of the more powerful lessons I’ve learnt over time when it comes to the behaviour of others and how we perceive, react or respond to it.
If someone has done something you disagree with, don’t understand, makes you confused or left you questioning their behaviour or motivation, then take a pause and breathe through it.
You might have intrusive thoughts such as, what are the possible reasons!? What are they thinking doing that?!
The longer we dwell on it the more we worry. Learning to let it go is a powerful skill and understand that if it’s behaviour around you, without direct communication not a lot will be resolved. And from experience, it’s not easy to identify the reason why someone did something or acted in a certain way.
Take a breath, give it some time and let it sit.
It’s probably not personal. There’s likely another reason someone acted in a surprising way.
And once it’s discussed, it often becomes clear there were reasons or circumstances we weren’t aware were a factor.
It’s likely not personal.
Holding this mindset is a great method of relieving ourselves of worry and personal blame when it’s unwarranted. Of course, if it is us! then take responsibility.
Give people some time and space and the reasons may become clear.
Be kind to yourself and let it go. It’s likely nothing to do with us and with communication, it will become clear.
There’s a neighbourhood boy that lives with his family around the corner from me. I first saw him more than 10 years ago when he was playing out in the street and we waved as I passed by.
We’ve continued the neighbourly wave over time. He plays footy out in the street, I drive by each day on the way to and from work.
I think over the years, I’ve met him and his family only a couple of times when they lost their pet rabbit and were searching for it and I lost one of my cockatiels.
Turns out they had caught my pet bird in their backyard! (thank you!) I had a whistle routine going with my bird and when I whistled to him, he’d whistle back the same whistle. As I drove past their house and whistled out the car window, I heard him whistle back. They’d thankfully put him in a cage near the window.
Anyway, I don’t know the families’ name, or the boys. But each day in the afternoon we have our tradition where I drive past when he’s playing footy and we wave and have a laugh.
It started as a quick wave and a smile. Then over the years I realised, it was helping both of us each day for a few seconds. So I started doing stupid waves and he did too, it gave us both a laugh at the end of the day when we were about to unwind. For now, it’s settled into a double aloha shaka or hang loose wave and we always get a laugh.
Over the years we’ve kept it going and I realised, it’s been more than ten years! I’ve seen his mates come and go and now he’s a young man and footy with his mates is really rough.
Now, his whole mob, cousins and regular visitors and the whole lot wave. Sometimes they catch me unaware and I have to be quick to return it cause I’m just expecting my lil’ (not so much now) neighbour mate. There’s that saying, from little things big things grow. And the news seems to have spread that the guy in the ute always does a silly wave.
We keep our tradition going, each afternoon that we cross paths. A small energy exchange. A chance to make the other one laugh. A quick burst of friendship across the street, fleeting but fun and I like to think it makes both our days a little bit brighter.
Seek out the people who inspire you to go further in life.
The people who have some of those qualities you aspire to or have mastered skills you’re still learning.
The people who may be living examples of some of the characteristics that energise you because yeah, energy doesn’t lie. It somehow knows where you need to be.
They drive you to be better, touch your heart and light up your soul.
They remind you that the competition, is with yourself to be a better you and no one else.
Seek them out and hold space for them. Ask them to share their wisdom.
They are the rare ones worth holding onto, the ones that will push you to be your best in life and in turn, inspire others.
