No one but you sets your standards

I love 🫶🏽 this one because it’s a reset & reminder to not be influenced by others’ standards.

In life we’re gonna encounter loud, quiet, pushy and all sorts of people. And if you spend time with them, you’re likely to be influenced in some way. There’s a saying about us being the average of the people we send time with. I’m not sure I agree, but it’s hard to completely avoid influence.

Your standards are yours to maintain, change and set higher for yourself.

In a way it’s so freeing when you think about it. We are in control, and who cares if someone has a differing opinion or standard. It’s not always that easy, and as humans we likely care by default. But we can aspire to filtering unnecessary influence.

When you can reach the point where you know your standard limits so clearly, it becomes second nature in interactions to recognise our own lines and choose how we respond.

Sure we also have rules and standards enforced on us by society, they’re hard to avoid, but even those are sometimes best broken.

The loud ones. You’re gonna bump up against people who think they know best, proclaim their level of cool or authority, get in your business or talk the loudest.

They’re likely the most insecure in the room.

Their insecurity maybe rooted in things like fear of peer pressure, embarrassment, jealousy, confusion or just lack of clear direction or experience. How that fear manifests in behaviours also reveals a person’s standards.

We set our own standards. We maintain them and when we waver, we are the one that decides how far into the grey zone we allow ourself to go.

When we find ourselves too deep in the grey and warnings are going off, it’s our choice to continue or not and our limits and triggers will be different to the next person.

Like anyone, I let my standards slip at times. I pull myself back and sometimes when doing so, realise I’ve let more than one standard slip against my values. This I think, is the constant effort of self discipline. We’re human, we’re gonna wander off the path a little. Correct course and move forward.

Reset and remind yourself of your standards and values. And in doing so, free yourself from the external influence.

Your standards are yours.