Category: Mindfulness

  • Leading with compassion and kindness

    Leading with compassion and kindness

    If you’ve ever been triggered by someone, a situation or the events in the world, you likely experienced how hard it can be sometimes to bring yourself back to calm. These tips may help you in future.

    A few tips:

    • Pause. Before anything happens, pause gives you time to breathe, start to process and feel before any kind of reaction is returned
    • Leave the space. If the situation is too intense, or you feel yourself about to explode, communicate your intentions to leave and think, and really leave and think
    • Take a few deep breaths
    • If it’s an external source like news or socials, put it away for the rest of the day
    • Pause and put yourself in the others place. Ask yourself why they’re reacting the way they are, what’s the real reason behind the behaviour
    • Imagine cool colours. I sometimes use this because I’m a visual person. I picture the ocean, a cool place. It brings me back to the present
    • If you catch your mind racing into the future, bring it back to the now. What’s happening now, is what needs to be managed and resolved

    Bring down your shield of compassion and kindness.

    I’m not sure how you picture these in your mind, but for me I imagine holding a massive shield in protection against all of the anger, stress and frustration in the situation. Not to fully block, but to temporarily hold off. To create space for pause and reflection. We all process these situations differently, I often need a minute to figure things out, others are able to react immediately with calm and composure.

    Then bring in your two healers, kindness and compassion. I find it easier in the other order, compassion first then kindness. Put yourself to one side, and then into the other person’s place or shoes. This action of compassion will bring some kind of understanding to which you can then apply kindness.

    If you practice applying these two first out of anything, they will help you diffuse many situations. I love how powerful they are at resolving my internal state. They don’t always work on the other person! lol. But they help you move forward.

    If you find practicing this difficult, observe others or think back to when someone afforded you compassion & kindness in a tough situation. Lived experience is a great teacher, and when you’ve screwed up, over stepped a boundary, triggered someone or said the wrong thing maybe and someone took pause, showed you kindness – it’s a powerful lesson.

    Like most skills, this is learnt through practice. Built with experience and reflection, or maybe you’re natural at it. I know I’m improving at it.

    if you’d like to hear a story of compassion and kindness, search up the video of Richard “Beebo” Russell. Richard took an aircraft in Alaska when he was struggling mentally and went for a joyride, but the pilots that intercepted and spoke with him over the radio were a shining example of kindness.

    So next time you feel yourself losing control, bring in your shield and two healers, compassion & kindness.

    You never know if the news is true, or what the other person is managing in their life and these tools may just give you the space and method to resolve things back to a place of peace.

    Drop a comment if you found this useful 🩵✨

  • Hiding your intelligence is a skill

    Hiding your intelligence is a skill

    Always knowing everything and letting people know you know, will make you a smart person in the room. Let people underestimate you.

    You don’t want to be the smartest in the room, you won’t learn a great deal. If people know you’re clever, they’ll seek you out and you’ll be busy teaching rather than learning.

    If you want to learn and get to know people, hide your knowledge & intelligence. That doesn’t mean being unhelpful, it’s strategic.

    By doing this, you elevate others in the room and they will naturally impart their knowledge and want to share things with you. It’s magical. If you want to connect with people and learn about their mind, try this approach.

    You may well learn things you already know, but the positives to that are, you hear another’s perspective, different detail and you’ll more than likely learn something new!

    How to foster this approach, a few tips:

    • Don’t say much. If you’re a talker like me, hold back and let others speak
    • Become an expert listener. Listen to understand
    • Initiate conversation and then let the person lead immediately. This is also a skill, knowing the approach, and the quickest point to back off and encourage their dialogue
    • Just don’t say anything except, hey! Some people will be uncomfortable with this
    • Ask a leading question about them
    • Ask for help with something
    • People will fire up over their passion subjects. Get them talking around what they love to do, or love about a topic you’d like to learn about
    • If you’re asked for knowledge, defer to wishing you knew more or offer a small amount of information

    Discerning who gets access to you and your intelligence, is a skill. Learning how to not use it, is a magical way to connect with people.

  • A small energy exchange

    A small energy exchange

    There’s a neighbourhood boy that lives with his family around the corner from me. I first saw him more than 10 years ago when he was playing out in the street and we waved as I passed by.

    We’ve continued the neighbourly wave over time. He plays footy out in the street, I drive by each day on the way to and from work.

    I think over the years, I’ve met him and his family only a couple of times when they lost their pet rabbit and were searching for it and I lost one of my cockatiels.

    Turns out they had caught my pet bird in their backyard! (thank you!) I had a whistle routine going with my bird and when I whistled to him, he’d whistle back the same whistle. As I drove past their house and whistled out the car window, I heard him whistle back. They’d thankfully put him in a cage near the window.

    Anyway, I don’t know the families’ name, or the boys. But each day in the afternoon we have our tradition where I drive past when he’s playing footy and we wave and have a laugh.

    It started as a quick wave and a smile. Then over the years I realised, it was helping both of us each day for a few seconds. So I started doing stupid waves and he did too, it gave us both a laugh at the end of the day when we were about to unwind. For now, it’s settled into a double aloha shaka or hang loose wave and we always get a laugh.

    Over the years we’ve kept it going and I realised, it’s been more than ten years! I’ve seen his mates come and go and now he’s a young man and footy with his mates is really rough.

    Now, his whole mob, cousins and regular visitors and the whole lot wave. Sometimes they catch me unaware and I have to be quick to return it cause I’m just expecting my lil’ (not so much now) neighbour mate. There’s that saying, from little things big things grow. And the news seems to have spread that the guy in the ute always does a silly wave.

    We keep our tradition going, each afternoon that we cross paths. A small energy exchange. A chance to make the other one laugh. A quick burst of friendship across the street, fleeting but fun and I like to think it makes both our days a little bit brighter.

  • The freedom of letting go

    The freedom of letting go

    Learning to let go is such a useful skill and yet it’s often not easy. I think it’s one aspect of life that is a continual challenge met over and over.

    With objects I have this internal struggle of keeping waste, leftovers or extras unused portions for later use. The reality is, they largely don’t get used and if so, 2 or more years later they’re still there and they sit around creating background stress.

    Items left unused and sitting around your living environment I think produce a low level kind of energy loss. If they’re visible, they’re a constant reminder of their existence and current state of not being used.

    If they’re not visible, at some point the amount of unused things gathered in our lives causes us to do a massive clear out, the spring clean! It’s because in some way, we’ve gathered things that we know are truly not needed.

    The funny paradox is, as you let go of more and more, momentum builds and the process gets easier and easier until the massive things in your life that you thought you’d never release into the river of the universe, suddenly become miniscule. And off they go.

    Tonight as I stood with people who I’ve a long history and been through some tough times with, I felt a strong sense of peace.

    Letting go emotionally of past events, wrongdoing or grudges or pain, is one of the most freeing things. I wish I was better at it.

    Tonight, I felt it. Freedom. Forgiveness and release of the past. I was just fully present. We stood together as we are now, in the moment with all past released. It was very freeing.

    Letting go is such a core skill in life. When I’m able to do it quickly and speedily, I feel growth. It’s definitely something to study and practice more.

    Here are some tips I’ve found useful in letting go:

    • Assess if the object or thing is being used. If it hasn’t been used for a year, out it goes
    • How life goes and how we want it to go drives feelings of lacking. Release the grip on the how, and see how easier life flows
    • Revisit the idea that plans and life change. Do the things you need to live and see how it turns out
    • Reconfirm that we change and grow. And so the old self may be no more, and you may have different needs now
    • Meeting the expectations of others is a massive one to let go. Reconfirm that not everyone will understand, get or like you. Let that one sail. You don’t need anyone’s approval
    • When I get there, I’ll be?! The destination may be a long way off, enjoy the way there and all of the small details and joy along the way.

    Hope these are useful for you. Letting go for me is one of those daily things to practice.

    Are you good at letting go? What tips do you have?

  • Write more to find out what aligns

    Write more to find out what aligns

    By writing out your thoughts, publishing articles, vlogging or just posting on social media, you create and confirm what you align with and who you are as a soul and person.

    Write, record more.

    The more you hash out your thoughts about where you are in life, the more you realise what’s for you and what isn’t.

    By writing or recording your thoughts, you really focus in and review if this is a part of who you are or not. It’s very different from scrolling on a device.

    Your thoughts are in front of you now, and you can see and hear what was in your mind. It’s self reflection.

    I’ve written many articles over the years and the majority I’ve never gone back later to edit. The odd one I have. To me it indicates that as I confirm who I am and what values I stand for, they stay long term.

    So write, record – it’s such a creative and beneficial thing to do as part of your life and you’ll become clear on what aligns with you and what needs to fall away.